:: Wallpaper ::

:: Monday, June 28, 2004 ::

You're the super-slacker!!
Homework?
What's that? Studying? Not in your vocabulary.
You hardly study and almost never do your work
and yet, by some divine intervention, you're
still surviving. And you come to school so
un-often, your teachers have pratically
forgotten that you even exist. Go, you slacker,
you!!


Which Stereotypical Singaporean Student Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


:: Sam 2:42 AM [+] ::
...

Our past, present, and future are mixed together in a swirling cauldron, from which the contents are constantly spun about and stirred in circles that cause the ingredients to clash together repeatedly from time to time. Other than the occasional spill, nothing is really lost. Other than the random new spices, nothing is hardly fresh.

Ran into Angel and Sue today. We were unable to have a proper conversation, so I left. Oh well.


:: Sam 3:27 AM [+] ::
...

not that gory la eh?


:: Sam 3:23 AM [+] ::
...

I'm now a proud owner of 7 stitches on my left shin!!

Ok, I wish I could say I got it kicking some punk's ass during muay, but unfortunately, it was waaaay much more stupid than that, and it will keep me from muay for a month or so. Sob.

I cut my leg on a road divider as I was trying to cross. Slip and feel and scratch my poor shin, tearing a gash about 7 cm long. It's amazing, I tell you. The blood... So much! Just kept dripping down! I'm impressed how much blood can come from a small hole, which was located somewhere near the bottom of the gash.

The more impressive thing is, my stupid pants is tougher than my shin. It's the 2nd time I injured my left shin, and both times, the pants remains intact without a scratch. Come to think of it, both times were along the same road divider. Bad luck.

Anyways, blood couldn't stop, only slowed down, so went to clinic. Had to stitch. Missed my bus back to Malaysia. I watched the doctor stitch. So amazing. This is the first time I see local anaesthetic at work. He didn't let me watch the starting, probably coz he was afraid I'd faint or puke or something. But I won't! There's no blood! How to puke or faint? Plus I can't feel any pain... He let me watch halfway in the end. It was interesting. And simple. Haha.

Right now, actually, I'm still bleeding. I can feel the trickles through my bandage. Sigh. I hate my bad luck.


:: Sam 8:01 AM [+] ::
...

Apparently, while I remember my past, my past does not remember me. The said figure who came knocking on my doorstep yesterday, cannot even remember my name! I'm peeved. Oh well.

However, the above sentiments soon underwent an about-face. Subsequently in the morning, I met someone on the train whose name I could not put a finger to, and hence continued to ignore his presence. The irony. How your past hovers about, reluctant to disappear, reluctant to say 'hi' either.

You know there's something seriously weird going on when you see 4 more familiar faces in the same day. This country is small, but I seldom see even one face when I go out, what more 5 in a day on separate occasions. That's 7 in just 3 days. There's no meaning to it probably, but I just love statistics.

Anyways, I bumped into an old crush. Sometimes, I think god is just too kind to me, showering me with loads of opportunities, only that I can't seem to get a grip of them. Our conversation was spluttering so badly, it completely choked and keeled over midway in the 5th sentence. And even though we sat just next to each other on neighbouring tables, there was no talk.

The things that make my brain tick. She really knows how to blow my mind away.


:: Sam 3:26 AM [+] ::
...

...and I wonder, at this moment when I have the greatest need, who will I turn to. Who can I turn to.

I look around and see only myself. There is no one else who would stand beside me amidst my fears and insecurities. This is the price I pay.

I can only turn to myself.


:: Sam 8:37 AM [+] ::
...

Sometimes, your past just walks past you when you least expect it. For a person who tries to cut his past as cleanly away as possible, it just never stops throwing itself in my face.

I walked by Victoria on Monday, while she was clinging onto the arm of her boyfriend. I find it ironic, and weird that I should see such a sight, as if so blatantly put to remind me of what was, what is, and what could be.

Today, I met another figure from my past, though not close to say the least. Yet once again, it's coincidental how far your past can come to get you sometimes. In a place so remote from where I once was, with ties so new and almost unrelated, there can be something linking me from the past to the present.

It's almost as if it was all scripted.


:: Sam 8:17 AM [+] ::
...

I delivered a bouquet of champagne coloured roses to that cute waitress, Crystal, today.


:: Sam 6:08 AM [+] ::
...

Wow! I'm really gonna miss my life in a month's time. Came home at 2.30 in the morning today. I reckon that's a first for the sad old me, who's life has been bounded by curfews since forever.

Watched Harry Potter 3 last night. It was OK la. Everyone is so funky now, with their hairdos. Is it just me, or is Potter and Weasley's hair waxed in almost every scene? And I swear they're subtly promoting Hermione's sex appeal by all her poses and actions!

Oh yeah, I also went to Toni Ramos. It's so expensive! Not like super expensive, but still a bit too high for me. Lucky I wasn't paying. And there was this super cute waitress!!! Argh! Haha.

My life...

:: Sam 8:54 AM [+] ::
...

It was a beautiful night tonight. Just like I imagined it to be a long long time ago. A lovely story written somewhere in the back of my head, always hoping that one day it will be replayed in real life, but never really believing in the possibility.

But tonight, just tonight, it came true. And that moment was so sweet, so tantalising, I wish I could capture it and replay over and over again. It couldn't be perfect, but it was already too good. Another moment of magic, thanks to you. That is was fleeting, and soon to be forgotten, only makes its delicate beauty all the more fragile, and all the more precious to behold.

A walk in the park, the cool night breeze, your soft words. What more could I ask for.

On a totally different note altogether, I must be starting to look pretty approachable lately. Today, yet another young lady scored with me. This time through a donation box. Didn't wanna give it to her at first, but since she was so persistent, and so good a flatterer, oh well. Unfortunately for her, I only had 10 cents. Whoops.

My luck with money also seems off. Today I'm supposed to be paid by 3 students, but through one reason or another, all cannot. Weird. Also received a weird phone call. I suspect it's a prank call. An indian lady called asking for a Chandran Morgan. And when I said wrong number, she quoted my number and called me a liar! So weird. So I just put down on her. In which she did not call again. Which is the main reason why I suspect prank call. Wonder who it is...


:: Sam 8:35 AM [+] ::
...

I'm traumatised. I knew this would happen, I knew it, I KNEW IT! Right from the start I was on to it. It's a conspiracy! Argh. Rosalind is not coming back to Jap class. My world has collapsed. No more eye candy. Sob. No more dreams of glitz and glam. Sniff. Boohoohoo...

Amidst all my confusion and trauma, somebody pounced on me and took advantage of it this morning. As I was trudging slowly to school, I feel someone catching up with me from behind, and this girl appears. Then she continues with the usual 'gimme 30 seconds, just only 30 seconds' and 'I'm not selling anything' crap. She even threw in a 'my first ticket' for good measure. Normally, I'm immune to such sales. But today my clouded mind made me extremely vulnerable.

Before I knew what was happening, I had already taken out my wallet, handed out 5 bucks, and received a coupon which I have absolutely no use for except to stare at it blankly. I feel cheated and taken advantage of. In addition to that, milliseconds after pocketing the coupon, I found myself exchanging numbers with her. Everything was over so quick that only when I finally arrived in class did I realise I was 5 bucks poorer, 1 coupon heavier, and 1 phone number more.

In case you're wondering, I asked her first of course. But it's weird. I'm still reeling from shock at the things you do when you can't think. Anyways, she's gonna pay. I'm gonna pester that number everyday until she changes to a new line. That'll teach her to cheat my money. Hmph.

I need to go eat.

:: Sam 6:18 AM [+] ::
...

Last night I dreamt of you.

There you were, smiling happily at me, smiling with that kind of natural childishness you had, as though all you knew were joy. And then you skipped over the table, came over to me, and hugged me. Fierce and tight, as you once did. You whispered, 'I guess it's OK, afterall,' and my consciousness slowly slips away, overcome with the joy of redemption. Then I woke up.

It was short, but it was sweet. Somethings you do let go, but you can never forget. I still miss you, Wui.


:: Sam 7:06 PM [+] ::
...

I realised I'm no good for a businessman. I'm just too honest and full of conscience, even if you may find that doubtful.

Today I just got cheated. All the while my brain was screaming, 'you're being cheated!!' but I ended up being the one feeling bad. I was underpaid, and I felt relieved. Somehow, I just can't argue for a fair share when it comes down to money, find it so hard to open my mouth. Oh well.

Don't bully me ya.


:: Sam 9:09 PM [+] ::
...

I am awaken by a not so gentle rumble in the middle of the silent night. I hear the steady pitter patter of heavy rain, and the occasional zooming by of a lonely car. Poor fellas, where could they be going at this time of the night, I wonder. What time is it anyway, I do not know. I can see several flashes through my closed eyes, and I hear another prolonged rumble. One, two, three, four. Four seconds long. The longest I've ever heard yet. Chain lightning? I'm tempted to peel open my eyes and watch for it, but I relent. My thoughts turn to her as I shiver under my covers, and I wonder if she is hiding under her blanket. But nah, she must have grown out of that years ago. And I wonder what it would be like to hold her close and hear her soft, rhthymic breathing, like a gentle lullaby, lulling me into dreamland with her. So I lay, wide awake, eyes tightly closed, curled into a ball. Afraid to open them for fear I cannot sleep, unable to sleep for my mind is filled with her.


:: Sam 9:08 PM [+] ::
...

I'm sitting here, staring at the screen, waiting for a reply that's never gonna come. The media player picks out the song 'Fast Car(1)' by Tracy Chapman, and I'm wondering why the voice is a guy's. Isn't Tracy a girl's name? Even the lyrics are supposed to be for a girl. Or maybe my sound system is bad. Or I can't tell guys from girls.

The (1) in the title too. It's not part of the title. Just happens to be there because of the way it was downloaded or saved probably. Kinda cheapens the song. I have no idea why. Maybe because now it feels like some cheap reproduced copy. I feel sorry for the song, really, to have it invoke such detached feelings in me, especially when it was from...

I'm momentarily distracted by a reply. It dumps something on the screen, and soon goes silent again. Something pops up, and I take a look. I didn't know someone writes longer entries than me. Or is her font larger? My eyes are hurting right now. They might just start to tear and tomorrow it'll be all puffy and whatnot. Oh. It's tomorrow already.

The aircon is not working properly. It always seems too cold when I want it warm, and too warm when I want it cold. It can't be me, my body's supposed to be maintained at 36.9 degree Celsius, and I don't touch the thermostat. So temperature is supposed to be approximately constant right? Wrong! Lousy aircon.

Should sleep. Going to sleep. Will sleep. Asleep.


:: Sam 10:33 AM [+] ::
...

Just read a couple of blogs. The writing style is amazing. I'm totally blown away. My lexicon is so limited! Sigh. When will I be able to write so beautifully, so impressively? Slowly slowly... I have this sinking feeling I'm gonna be at the bottom of my English/Literature minor class, whichever I choose to take.

Sigh.


:: Sam 9:53 AM [+] ::
...