:: Wallpaper ::

:: Monday, May 31, 2004 ::

Man. I hate show offs. In my world, there can only be one show off. Me. Unless you are some hot babe, no showing off!

Here I have this guy who is learning Korean and Japanese, thinking he's damn smart and telling me all about their history. Sigh. Friend, I may not be able to speak any bit of Korean except hashehshhshshs(I only hear those sounds anyway), but my Japanese happens to be superior to yours. So quit it. Thank you.

My eyes are hurting. Ouch.


:: Sam 9:45 AM [+] ::
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Genki dashite, daijoubu dayo!


:: Sam 8:29 AM [+] ::
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Sigh. I just got ambushed by a romance novel. I don't like reading romance, not so much because they can be cheesy sometimes, but because I can't take it. Fine. It wasn't even complete romance, but it's too much for me. Can You Keep A Secret? by Sophie Kinsella.

Blah. Makes me wish all that again. That someday my secret fantasy would be fulfilled. I can't even feel jealous now, only despair. Wish my life could be a fairytale as well. That some Prince Charming would come sweep me off my feet. That some rich sensitive modern day millionaire would suddenly fall truly, madly, deeply. So easy to escape into this world eh? Only I'm not a girl. Well, I could be gay? Haha.

And they always, ALWAYS have bloody happy endings! My life is in a bloody mess now. My future is ruined, I can't get the bloody courses I want, and I dunno where I'm gonna be. I don't have the feeling it's gonna be anywhere good or on top. And not to mention that she has no affections for me. Yar, it's no big deal, but it's still a big deal. It's so frustrating isn't it? To want something so much and have no ability to obtain it? Or is it simply I don't want it badly enough? She could survive pretty well without me in her life. Right now, I can't.

We were supposed to watch movie today, 2 in fact, but not even 1 came through. So upsetting. But I still feel so happy when I'm with her! I forget about everything else that she has, and I really don't hafta fake anything even when she talks about him or him. It's like, so OK. It's so bloody perfect. But after that... Sucks eh. Not like it's my 1st time. Being the unimportant, expendable person.

The book was about honesty, about keeping secrets. I really feel like giving up all my secrets. But big deal. Like she would care. But that's what she wants right? I gave it all already. I think I still have some, but I can't even think of it and pull it out. So those few are pretty unimportant eh. I'm not one for secrets. And honestly, I know none of her secrets either. She hasn't really opened up to me. Truly, how much do I know about her? I'm not who she confides in to talk about stuffs that are important or that matter to her. Nope. While she is the one I do confide in, only that I don't talk much coz she doesn't seem too interested. I hardly talk to anyone about anything these days.

What am I? What am I to her? But I already know, and she already said. I just keep thinking and hoping that I was something more. Just like I did before. This is just so me. Making mountains out of molehills. Maybe my mom is right when she says I'm gullible, when I used to so insist that I'm not. I'm really that hopeless eh... Sigh. Fuck la. How come there's no such thing as a Princess Charming who comes and rescue me? At the rate I'm going. I'll never make it. I can't be anyone's Prince Charming, especially not least the person I like.

I hate romance. Bleargh.


:: Sam 12:53 PM [+] ::
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LOOK OUT! ïòð

spike is a radioactive squirrel!!

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

:: Sam 8:59 AM [+] ::
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Today's just one of those good days. It took me awhile to realised what exactly I was doing. Halfway into the second page before I noticed I was actually reading the book aloud to her. In a book store. The two of us, reading books together. Sigh. Bliss. It's the kind of thing I'd write about, but not realise it happening to me. Come to think of it, I have many a good memory in bookstores, or libraries. Hmm. Books and women.

Anyways. In addition to that, I met this hot chic in the elevator again. Come to think of it, it might just be the same elevator! No... I'm just hoping. Makes it more magical. Yeah. She said hello. And er... goodbye. Oh, and smiled. I smiled, too! Period. Argh.

Also saw Hui Jing today! After so long! Finally. She said I don't look so toot anymore. Like I ever looked toot?! Fine. Maybe just a little. Like just a little little. OK! I'm a nerd! Wrargh!

Moving on. I bought 6 books from the bookstore with my book vouchers from college day. 170 dollars! Beat that, losers! Yeah man. I'm into chic lit now. 2 books by Sophia Kinsella. W00t. If I pull this off carefully, I'd be girly enough to fulfill my secret dream of being a gay and nab a guy! Yee har! *sticks tongue out at Jason*


:: Sam 8:16 AM [+] ::
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Night scenary. Trying out this cool photo feature blogger has. Neat. 


:: Sam 8:05 PM [+] ::
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Phew. Just came back from a 2 day 1 night with my mom. So tiring can. I hafta juggle my work, Jap lessons, and time with her. Somemore hafta carry all the stuffs she brought for me around. But I guess it's worth it. Finally got my sandals replacement! Yay!

We stayed at a budget hotel at Geylang, next to Hotel 81. So interesting man. Saw these 3 black guys bidding for this girl, showing numbers on their fingers to indicate price.

Also, actress is leaving my Jap class for work. Sigh. Now things will be so boring without someone to talk to and oogle at.

Today, I met this shuai Cambodian with such a cool name! Voreak! Haha. Asked me for direction to borders. I think I was a little crazy today. Started talking to him and asked for his phone number. Damn! I approached a guy? Haha... Come to think of it, he might think I'm gay. But oh well. I think it'd be damn cool to have a Cambodian friend. I know nuts about Cambodia. Blah. But I'm gay. He hasn't replied my sms. Sob.


:: Sam 8:54 AM [+] ::
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I'm torned between elation and devastation now. I just completed my must-have list for this year. Actually, one of them been's on the list for years, but nevermind... It's rather early, but since I don't have many must-haves anyway, so I guess it's no big deal. Not getting a new handphone after all.

Very broke now. Bought the MOST expensive thing ever with my own cash. A Casio EX-Z30 digicam. The baby's sweet. If you ask why I didn't get the Z40. Well, I gotta save some cash. Heh. A little goes a long way. With that, it rounds off my list, which includes only 2 other things, an external HDD, and an external microphone which I have replaced with an MP3 player cum memory stick cum recording device. Yay!

Now I hafta work my ass off to recover the lost cash. Sigh. Just when I thought this month was finally going into profits. Heh.

Oh ya, they were having a mother's day promotion, that's why.


:: Sam 9:48 AM [+] ::
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Woah. Just came back from AJ's EL performance. It's amazing. Jan is such a good actress. I'm thoroughly impressed. Sasaki-sensei mou onaji iken da. Jan's also very pretty pretty tonight, haha... The play on it's own wasn't all that deep? But it was an interesting watch nonetheless. To put it in the words of sensei, "Easier for foreigners to understand," heh...

Spent the rest of the night talking with sensei in Macs. How unromantic. But it was interesting nonetheless, me trying to speak in my smattering of Japanese. I did most of the talking anyway, the typical me. Oh by the way, I think I found out who my new classmate is. Rosalin Pho from Lightyears, if I got the spelling right. My guess that it was a Lightyears star was accurate, and also explains why I don't recognise her. Oops. But I agree she is rather pretty.

Sigh. A new challenger. I feel too lazy to compete with her. Plus she's way ahead anyway. Oh bother bother.


:: Sam 9:29 AM [+] ::
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ARGH. Nolstalgia. I did what I shouldn't have. I opened the Pandora's Box. Now it's all gushing back again. It was about this time last year I joined them. The Box. Heh. It's been one year already and I still haven't let go. What would they say if they knew. It's too late to say on what ifs, but I guess I just miss miss miss them. I miss them so much. Haha. Silly me.

LEA SALONGA
TOMORROW

The sun will come out, tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow, there`ll be sun
Jus` thinkin` about, tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow
`Til there`s none

When I`m stuck with the day that`s gray and lonely
I just stick out my chin and grin and say, ohhh

The sun will come out, tomorrow
So you gotta hang on `til tomorrow
Come what may...

Chorus:
Tomorrow, tomorrow
I love ya, tomorrow
You`re always a day away

(Instrumental)

The sun will come out, tomorrow
So you gotta hang on `til tomorrow
Come what may...

(Repeat Chorus)

Tomorrow, tomorrow
I love ya, tomorrow
You`re always a day a--way!


:: Sam 8:16 AM [+] ::
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Woah. Been some time eh? Was trying to eat grapes just now, but gave up. The process is just so paintakingly slow, the grapes so many, and the taste a little too sour. I can't take sour stuff.

Anyways, been pretty busy lately. Life's been ok to me, the usual ups and downs. Putting what I learnt last year to good use here. So far so good, nothing damaging has occured yet. Hope that lasts, though. Heh. Slowly edging towards the danger zone. But I guess, if I don't, I'll never know how far I can push.

Bought a longsleeve shirt today. Rather expensive, but I'm quite happy with it. Wanted to buy other stuffs for my wardrobe too, but guess my wallet just doesn't have the stamina, haha. Besides, I'm not sure how I wanna dress now. I'm so comfortably lazy being the sloppy me, that trying to look proper is tougher than er, er, studying? ;P

Have tuition tomorrow, but feeling a bit too tired and lazy to study. Guess I'll just hafta do impromptu again. I'm getting pretty good at covering my tracks actually. Right now, all my students are impromptu already. A bit of laziness and a bit of familiarity with the topics makes my work a whole lot easier. Heh. Gonna play some games now.


:: Sam 7:41 AM [+] ::
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