:: Wallpaper ::

:: Wednesday, October 16, 2002 ::

Why?

The mother of all questions. The question that everybody asks, and nobody can answer. And with every single reply, it is followed by another 'Why?'. And indeed, why not?

I ask myself this same cursed question every night. Why. Why did it had to happen. Why did it have to turn out like that. Why, of all people, it had to happen to me. And every night, I find myself unable to answer the same few questions, playing over and over again in my mind like a broken record. It haunts me like a ghost in the shadows, and the answer eludes me, playing a stupid game of hide and seek.

I asked that question to them before. There was no reply. All they could do was stare blankly at me. And when I got mad at them, they retaliated with the same cursed question, why. Why did I have to ask them. Why them. Why. A vicious cycle there will be no escape from.

I asked Him why. His only reply was irony. He gave me nothing that I wanted and asked for. Yet he gave me everything I didn't ask for but satisfied me just as well. He gave me hope, false hope that I would not need the answer to the questions, that they would just melt away into dark of the night. But then he would steal that away again. Ah, the most cruel of things to do, to give a man hope to hold so dearly, and then to wrest it away from him so suddenly and violently. And that begets only more of that mournful why.

There is no final answer. At least I have not found one. All solutions are merely temporary, shadows, vanishing immediately upon the light of the question. Why. Maybe one day I will be answered. Maybe one day there would be world peace. Hah. Remote possibilities I still hold true because of the hope He gave me, and will take away soon again. And return to me. So the cycle repeats. So the ordeal continues. The neverending quest for a perfect answer. The One answer.

'Curiosity killed the cat. Yeah man, it lost its 9 lives suffering from insomnia and migraine. Oh yeah, also from total absorption in the question that it forgot to eat.


:: Sam 6:00 AM [+] ::
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