:: Wallpaper ::

:: Sunday, June 30, 2002 ::

During one of my usual, time consuming, net adventures blasting through thick hordes of online battledroids(read: link clicking) and various pingfalls and connection pitfalls(read:sucky connection), I stumbled upon something amusing. Hidden behind the site of an elvish garden(read: bright and colorful website) was, *gasp* a snake fan club!! Not just any live organic snake, mind you, but the snake.

Check out the cute lil image on the links area to get what I mean. So, just out of curiousity and boredom, I decided to join, haha. The pic don't look too right on the colore scheme, but I guess it'll do, I'll work on it later.

Someone just told me to get a new blog, one that provides comments system. Hmm, been considering it some time, but just too lazy to do it. I mean, the effort and time consumed... Never mind. Maybe later. Gee, seem to remember telling that to myself a year ago. Still, later, haha.


:: Sam 1:23 AM [+] ::
...

Screw the world. I didn't make it. Damn.

While we're at it, comments are gone again. It's a bloody conspiracy, that's what it is! And against me too!


:: Sam 12:28 AM [+] ::
...

Sigh. I declare that school officially begins today, and all merry making ceases now. Reality is back with a vengence, and not to mention lotsa homework too. I say this because today I have meet all the people I wanted to meet and all those that I don't. All in one day. And strange that they should come walking hand-in-hand, close as friends can be. The irony of it. Back to the days where half the people ignore me and nearly all, I ignore. Back. Where I don't belong.

Hmm, strange that I should start my day off seeing that pair. The pair that have gave me a great deal to learn from. The pair where one was once my friend, good as can be, and the other, a stranger. The pair that now one ignores me, and the other, much friendlier. Irony, irony. Life is full of it. I believe in omens. Do you? Perhaps it forbodes what is to be. The good shall turn bad and the bad, good. And both will come together, not one at a time, but all at once.

Friends should always remain friends. Why can't that be? I watched one of the best friendship I ever had crumble and disintegrate. A friend that can always make you smile is precious, and hard to find. I had it, for a moment. Now I've lost it.

Strangers should never remain strangers. Why can't that be? I still feel the distance despite efforts to get closer. A stranger that cares and concerns with you is rare, a gem. I may just have it. But out of what? Sympathy?

Relationships are complicated. Sometimes I'd rather be alone. Guess that's why I am most of the time. I'm too tired to try, and too used to bother. Oh well.

I'm lost. Save me.


:: Sam 5:15 AM [+] ::
...

Oh yes!! Don't I just love myself(though it has nothing to do with me...)? My comments function are back online!! Hahahahaha!! *suddenly realises that it now requires somebody to post* Darn. The limiting factor. Oh well, I gotta rush for dinner first. Will post later.


:: Sam 3:30 AM [+] ::
...

'What kind of Wing
are you?' by. Xera



:: Sam 10:39 PM [+] ::
...

Which Archangel are
you? by Xera


:: Sam 10:39 PM [+] ::
...

Kk, in another valiant, well-meaning, but futile attempt, I've decided to take the nick off my guestbook, and just call it guestbook!! Isn't that soooo ingenius? Now feel compelled and sign it!! Sigh... Why do I have this funny feeling that it's falling on death ears?

Failed my maths commontest today... Despite all the hardwork and effort put in last night(Ok, I know last minute work don't count for much, but hey!) I think I'm still not gonna make it, by my standards anyway... Even if I manage to miraculously pass, I've failed my own expectations. Couldn't do the paper properly... Sometimes, I wonder what's the point of all these? But nah, I shan't plunge into the education-is-a-miserable-waste-of-time rant, though it's true... Nah, today I shall just share something silly but nice all the same, to me at least.

Friends, are important things, especially friends you treasure the most. And while I don't normally treasure or appreciate many people, there is one's friendship I do cherish a lot. Perhaps it's because I can't very well get it, thus the temptation of the forbidden fruit. Or perhaps I really do treasure it, something special in that person that I identify with. Maybe it's just my hormones raging. Whatever the case, it really made my day last night when that unexpected call that I was always waiting for caught me by surprise. The best part, it happened not once, but twice. Twice.

Whatever the agenda prompted the call, it matters not. All that matters was that it was made. I heard the voice I've been longing for, and talked to the person I've been thinking of. Sounds like love, ain't it? Perhaps. But I'd rather not think of it that way. Let it remain as something else, something deeper, more pure, and without the tainted desire that has plagued me for the past few months. I already lost a few things precious to me, in a somewhat similar fashion. And I already lost this too. All I have left is hope. But, I'm letting that go too. Cherish the past, forget it, and move on.

Still, nothing is as easy as it sounds. I shall remember the words,"Thanks, you're a nice guy." for as long as my short-term memory allows. Call me shallow, pathetic, a fool. I am but a child inside, waiting for the smallest word of praise from anyone. Hungry for kind words, and ready to follow the offerer like a dog, all for a few simple words. How silly is that? But to hear those words means contentment for me. Enough to ease the yearning, for now. Enough to know that while all is lost, it has not gone to waste. Enough to know I am worthy of praise. Enough to go on.

Hurl whatever insults and taunts you have at me, and I will bare my teeth defiantly. But speak one word of grace, and I will be on my knees, begging to submit. Taming the shrew is not hard, it just requires patience, and subtlety.


:: Sam 10:14 PM [+] ::
...

Heyz, it's been a long time since I've been in a blogging mood again and actually have the time to do it. Sitting outside my block just now, I saw one of the new girls, the pretty one that has been the talk of guys recently. While I have absolutely no interest in her whatsoever, I can't help but remember the times I spoke to her and the instinctive desire to talk to her whenever I see her. The thing is, and an undeniable fact it is, is that we all love pretty things.

Indeed.

Everyone desires all that is perfect, nice, and beautiful, is it not? Even little children in school are quick to ostracise the fat little boy, or the ugly little girl. Humans are inexorably attracted to all that is pretty, and reject anything that is not. Thus the mad scramble for cosmetic surgery, make-ups, and the various fashion accesories.

Yet, there is one thing that cannot be hidden.

Amongst all this chaos, one overlooked fact has been sitting silently in the corner, waiting to pounce on the unwary. The emphasis has been too much on superficial appearances that character is often forgotten. Granted that an ugly person will still cause initial repulsion, but once we get used to it, character, if beautiful, will start to shine like a beacon, and attract us to it's warmth. However, all the technology in the world cannot beautify anything beyond skin deep. An ugly character will, in time, start to stink through all the glamour and glitz, and people will slowly start to realise, and move away.

As such, beauty is an important thing, it is the very basis in which humans interact with one another, whether one is better liked than the other, or well received than the other. Beauty is in essense, everything, in the world of relationships.

Sometimes I stare out and wonder, why is it that some of us must be invisible. I did not choose to be born unpretty, and I know not how to be pretty. All I can do is hide in that dark lonely corner, watching, waiting, hoping that one day I may discover the beauty that lies within.


:: Sam 8:12 AM [+] ::
...

Hmm... Juz read a blog or two, and wondered. What is a friend? Someone who is always there for you? Someone who gives his all for you? Or someone who will just always be that, a friend? I dunno... But for me, I will always be a friend, no more, but no less. That is regardless of distance or time. For me, absence does not make the heart grow fonder, not much anyways... But neither does time erode away what was made. Never. That is a promise I make. I am a friend.


:: Sam 3:36 AM [+] ::
...