:: Wallpaper ::

:: Tuesday, December 25, 2001 ::

Seasons come, seasons go, they keep changing. Yet I am here, to experience every change in season, and to feel it so intimately, a part of my life. It's winter now. The cold icy wind that chills you to the bone is tightly wrapped around me. I can feel its bitterness, its anger, and its sorrow. It did not ask for this, it did not ask to be cold and lonely, it did not ask to take away life. Neither did I. But we are prisoners of fate, of destiny. Of what may come, and what had already came. We were not asked to be born, we simply existed. And in such a way we live, striving hard to survive every single day of your life, working to come out on the top, and never for one moment wandering why.

We reap what we sow. The old men said it. Work hard, and you get what you deserve. Sometimes you were lucky, you got the best without much effort. Sometimes you weren't, and your crops fail despite all the work you do. But there's always next year, they say. Next year to reap and sow again. And to get a good harvest. But every year you grow older, time passes, and you wonder. How long more? How many years more of success and failures, before you finally get a good harvest to retire? Perhaps never. The cycle of life is neverending. Reap and sow, reap and sow.

Life is not fair. It never was. That is why people work so hard to get the better side of it. A mad scramble, a rat race. Some people get out of it, some people don't. You look back years later and wonder, what was it all for? Fame? Money? Power? What about the people you snub on your way up? They never had a chance. Was it fair to them? What is fairness all about? To give someone as good as you a chance and lose your own? Will it be fair to you then? There is no such thing as fairness. It is merely a perception of the mind, to help the weak, the less capable, and the less fortunate.

Such is the world, cold, harsh, unfair. But we live. We survive. Why? Because we have no other choice. Come spring, there will be new life again, and perhaps the world will seem warmer for a while, lovelier and more beautiful. The young and strong will replace the old and weak, and we will move on again, undaunted. We will push forward once more, and progress towards what is perhaps another winter, another year of death and suffering, but still we move on. For there is no such thing as giving up, or dying, in the endless circle of life.

'The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills, and we men are tighly bounded by the threads of the Pattern' - The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan


:: Sam 5:28 PM [+] ::
...

Oookay, shock's over, I'm back. AJC's fine, I think. Nevertheless, I wrote an appeal letter to Moses Lim/Wong, dunno which, juz anyhow send anyway. *luffs nervously* Hmm, AJ feels so normal. I am no longer among the best, and that's somewhat comforting, I guess. The rest din fare much better either, NJ, TJ, and ACJ... My batch's a failure.*sobz* We're not represented in the top JCs!! *wails* Kk. *sniff* I'm shaken, but not stirred. No mutiny, no riots. Juz calm and confident acceptance. *boohoohoo* Argh!! IT'S ALL THEIR FAULT!! THOSE... THOSE... Hey! Lemme GO!! I said let ME - *Oof*

The author has to be dragged away at this point of time due to possible nervous breakdown. Ok, ok, also because he was about to say something secret and offensive, which we cannot allow as we have to protect both him and the parties concerned.



:: Sam 5:53 PM [+] ::
...

I cannot believe it, but it's true. I have to accept my fate. My dreams of RJ have been crushed, blown to smithereens. Retribution at it's worst. I muz have done something really evil in my past life to deserve this. Or maybe even this life. I promise I'll be a good boy if there's a change and I'll do lotsa community service if I can make RJ... Please tell me it's one big cruel mistake, a joke... Puh-lease? Sigh, I'll be damned if whining gets me anywhere... Oh well, best I can do is appeal and pray hard...


:: Sam 6:48 PM [+] ::
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Argh!!!! This is not happening to me!!!! What did I do to deserve such a punishment?? I got posted to AJC!! Of all places? There must be something wrong. 7 points and ya telling me AJC? If this is true, I'm gonna kill myself... Damn... I'll juz hafta wait past 10 am, the official posting time, and check with the rest to find out. Sigh. AJC, here I come!


:: Sam 5:35 PM [+] ::
...

Phew, juz came back from Genting a few days back with me lovely cousins. It was a day trip, and we juz happened to choose Monday, of all days, Hari Raya day. Wonderful. While we are at it, here's a few rules to observe to enjoy your hols. In no order of merit:

Rule #1 Never go on a public festival holiday, especially the first day.
Rule #2 Cutting queue is good. Repeat after me: Cut Q is good (Juz dun get caught)
Rule #3 Dun play sumthing you may be terribly afraid of. No matter how fun it looks.
Rule #4 Time estimation is important, but dun overdo it.
Rule #5 Go with people you like at all costs.

Odd that I had to learn all that in one short day trip. Yup, very odd.

After managing to get an early bus from Gombak and passing thru the jam to reach our destination, Genting Skyway, we were greeted with an awful sight to behold. The queue was longer than a 9/9 Endless Wurm, and it was growing even without being fed by enchantments. With trample? Definitely. My apologies to those who do not play Magic out there.

Anyways, to put it in more simple terms, the queue was a squirming mass of humans pressed tightly against each other, pushing and pulling back and forth with the occasional screams as someone was assimilated. It snaked from the platform back to the 'You-are-one-hour-from-platform' sign (they had the cheek to put that!) to the invisible 2 hour mark before going down the escalator and winding around the waiting chairs, coiling pass the ticket booth and finally ending a line longer that the ticket booth queue itself. Horrible.

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention those nigger queue jumpers that kept jumping over the railings and slipping under the lines? I wasn't that bad, but that 12 yr old squirrel of a cousin of mine had to squeeze her way thru everyone to the front, pulling her responsible elder sister after her. I had no choice but to follow. In the end, we still went much faster than some people, namely my mom, my 3rd cousin (yes there's 3 of 'em, all girls too... nightmarish I tell ya) and their parents. So there, unless you wanna break your legs waiting, throw away tour morals away for once, huh?

When we finally got to the outdoor theme park, the queue was still as outrageous as ever. We managed only 2 rides before my aunt insisted on leaving, making a 3 hour leeway for the queue. Talk about ridiculous timings. But what to do, she was as adamant about her decision as... well, as... herself? OK, basically, we couldn't get a word in, and had to leave.

Before we continue however, I must tell you about the wonderful Solero Spaceshot thingy. It's this squarish 12 seater, 3 on each side, and shoots dunno how many meters high in less than 1 second, and comes all the way down in the remaining part of the second and does that a few times. Exhilarating I tell ya! But obviously not so for one of my cousins who managed to make me deaf in one ear with her screams. She's not the worst of course, I saw one lady who on the way down was gaping like a goldfish, open close open close, only difference is, she was screaming all the time, or trying to, if you can get the picture.

So we got back down to the station in 50 minutes, compared with the 2 hours +++ it took for us to get up, with 2 hours +++ to spare for dinner before our bus came. Lovely. Oh, did I forget to tell you that 2 of the sisters were at each other's throats the whole time of it? So much for family warmth... Anyhow, it was a wonderful trip nontheless, and ooh boy, I love the way people scream when they're scared, haha.

The author admits that he was a teensy weensy bit scared, 'Juz a wee bit,' so to quote. Wonder how he got a cramped finger, though.


:: Sam 5:08 PM [+] ::
...

Ya know, too much time is bad, really really bad... It makes someone think. A lot. And after having too much time at home in between the 3 VCDs a day and the drama serials, I was back to one issue I still can't resolve. The Osama bin Laden case.

Not too long ago, I vaguely remember the US declaring 'war' or whatever you wanna call it, on the Taliban, based on a firm suspicion that our darling Osama bin Laden was responsible for the 9/11 attacks, which btw, I juz noticed from todays papers, he is still a prime suspect, mind you, and not the confirmed mastermind behind the attacks. And guess what? They've already annihilated nearly all the Taliban that it's too late to say 'Oops, I'm sorry!' if Osama was indeed innocent.

I do not support Osama, but neither do I support US for an act that they call 'self-defense'. Really, what is self-defense? Is it protection from harm to one-self? Or is it prevention of harm to one-self? Perhaps, even both. From what I see, US is adopting both, by destroying something that could potentially be a threat, ie. the Al-Qaeda network, and by protecting itself with anti-ballistic missiles and such.

As much as I'd love to condemn US to hell at this point of time, I can't help but notice that US is not altogether wrong in their actions. They are merely doing something any self-respecting nation would do, self-preservation. As Darwin used to say, 'survival of the fittest', US is merely what it is today because it is strong, and we are unable to do anything about it. Even UN hesitates to oppose it. We are unable to match US in any actions because we are weak. One good example is Osama and gang.

Say we imagine that Uncle Sam is a big bully, and Osama's gang was one of his cronies. Suddenly, the bully's henchmen decides to break-off and throw a rock at his former leader, what happens? Because the fella is obviously weak, he barely scratches the bully's skin. But the bully, being big and powerful, and unaccustomed to opposition, become furious, and crushes the betrayer to little bits. Such is the case.

There are people who can help, or who can level the force, but because the bully approaches them one by one and singles them out, they join him out of fear, and are unable to unite and become a force of their own. Moreover, this individual moderate forces do not trust each other, so they can't communicate. So what is left is a bully and his gang of individuals who follow him because he is big and strong, and they go about bullying smaller people into submission, and doing whatever they want, because Uncle Sam is the Boss.

Perhaps what I have here is but fragments of ideas, not thought out very well, but what I do see is a powerful America, having its way in the world, throwing its weight about without opposition. And as the act of 'self-defense' continues to spread around the world unopposed, now Afghanistan, next perhaps Iraq, or Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia, I do not know what will happen, except maybe a New World Order with US in the centre of it all. Perhaps this is world domination?

Hmm, I think I may have been reading too much on German conspiracies and theories and the like. It's time to retire now I guess, and ponder on a life in WW3, if it does come.

May the strongest survive!!


:: Sam 11:56 PM [+] ::
...

Kayz, it's hols now, and 2am in the morning. Everyone's sleeping, and the only people on my icq list seem that are online seem to be dead. So there, all alone and bored to death. Kk, I'm too tired to think, but all I wanna say is that, I'm on holiday, and this site is temporarily dead, coz I wun be able to update it. That's it, ciaoz, buh-bye, tata, adieous, sayonara, zai jian, bon voyage, and wateva wishes, until next year!!


:: Sam 9:50 AM [+] ::
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