:: Wallpaper ::

:: Saturday, December 28, 2002 ::

It's my birthday today. Gee. I feel so old.


:: Sam 4:10 AM [+] ::
...

I've been charged with the crime of the century. Might as well declare it to the world, since I dunno how many more people agree with this point of view, how many people will change the way they think of me once they find out. Might as well anyway, because I have nothing to hide, because I believe in my lack of evil intentions, and because I dunno if I should defend myself. What's there to defend anyway? The fact that I'm accused is sufficient.

I've been charged with lechery. Well, not exactly, but that's the gist and the bulk of it.

Yeah yeah. Gasp in horror, stare in disbelieve, nod in acknowledgement, shake in dissapointment. Whatever reaction you will. I just cannot believe that this is happening. I do not consider myself lecherous. But then again, if I did, I probably not be committed of such an act, would I? Already, the verdict is being formed, or already formed, by the jury. All that awaits now is the judgement. The punishment. And I wouldn't even know if not for some kind soul who decided to warn me less my sentence be carried out with me unawares. Never warn a criminal you're gonna charge him. Just hit him quick and fast, or else he may disable you, or cook up a defence, or do something horrible.

Hahaha.

I dunno whether to laugh or to cry. Really. It's confusing man. It's disarming. It bowls me over. Gee. OK. While I'm at it, might as well say a few words in defense.

Dear jury. I'm disappointed. I'm thoroughly disappointed and let down. I'm disappointed with myself for not seeing that this was coming. I'm disappointed with the prosecutor for not giving me a chance. I'm disappointed with the jury for carrying this out behind my back. Next, I accept all charges pressed against me, for I must have committed them, or they would not be pressed against me in the first place. But, I do not plead guilty. Yes, granted I committed every act I'm charged with, even if I dunno what most of them are, they were not done with those intentions in mind. Sigh. What difference does it make? I crossed the line, fine. Sentence me then, punish me then, I shall embrace whatever is thrown at me. My only regret was that I trusted and believed that in the goodness of you people, that you good people would tell me when I strayed, and keep me back in line, that I trusted and believed that we were closer friends than that. Once again, my greatest mistake is my trust and believe in people. I seem to constantly get the concept of friendship wrong. And to think I thought I just learnt my lesson. How wrong. I am betrayed.

But mine are just the words of a criminal. Condemn. Hahaha. Shoot me then. I welcome you. And I shall embrace this death with all my heart and soul. I'll be looking forward to my rebirth. The same mistake won't be made twice.

I rest my case.


:: Sam 4:55 AM [+] ::
...

Should I complain? Yes I should.

complain

Passport making is just so sux0r. Sigh. Dumb idiots make you wait for ages just to pay the bill! Imagine! You wanna give them money and they still make you wait!! I just LOVE my country.

Oh. I had to rush all the way back to Ipoh to get my birth certificate, and back to KL again the next day, just so I could get into the 7.30am queue. Should never forget important documents.

Gah. No mood. Can't even be bothered to complain. I'll split the fault between them and me, 50-50, so we're even, ok? *Shakes fists at immigrations*

/complain


:: Sam 4:31 AM [+] ::
...

Alas, alas. Some things just never change, huh? Sigh, after all the high hopes and hullaballoo, you'd think that something would finally happen at last, that things would come alive. But no. Still as dead as ever. Perhaps all the action merely played in my mind. What a world. Sigh. What a world. Strangely, I can't for the life figure out why. Maybe it's just me. Bleargh. Back into my own world where only I exist, plus I guess, the occasional visitor.

But surprise, surprise. Some things do happen. A storm is brewing. I can feel it. I can smell it. I can taste it. I can feel it quivering with excitement, and it sends tingles down my spine. I can smell my own fear and apprehension. I can taste... I can taste... Nothing. I can taste nothing. Sigh. I wonder. How real is this storm? Is it truly there? One moment I believe it is, the next, I'm not too sure. Shadow dancing, I call it. Playing with something you're not sure of. Sometimes the shadow appears, sometimes it dissapears, sometimes you overlap it, sometimes it melds into you. Curious, isn't it? Confusing, but its mysteries draw me like a moth to fire.

Bleargh. Whatever. Don't think I know what I'm talking about half the time anyway. I just wish... that things were more straightforward and simple? The way you want it to be? No illusions, no shadows. Just the plain old whatever. Whatever.

'Shh... I can hear it coming.'
'Hear what? I don't hear anything.'
'Be quiet, listen closely.'
'Nothing. I hear nothing.'
'You got that right! Nothing's coming.'
'Oh.'
*Pause*
'Aieeee!!'
'It's already here.'
*Evil laughter*


:: Sam 11:08 PM [+] ::
...

Changed my guestbook. It is now signable. Sigh. And no one told me it was out. Thanx alot, lurve... Haha...


:: Sam 7:58 PM [+] ::
...

I'm back in M'sia!! If there's one thing I love about this place, it's the food!! Sweet, lovely food, after such a long freaking time too. Ah... I'm in bliss man. This is heaven...

Kk, enough of the reverie. Other than that, almost everything else sucks here. Nothing to do, nowhere to go, no friends to find. Something like that. Boredom to the core man. But, I'm going Ipoh tomorrow, hopefully to see my beautiful cousins!! Then to Penang to the beach, windsurfing!! Yeah, rocks man!! Haha... After that, slow and agonising death again. Sigh.

Got stung by a bee yesterday morning. S'pore's last goodbye gift to me for year 2002. How embarassing. One single honey bee sting on my left foot. Thought it was an overgrown mosquito at first, with a extra painful bite, haha. Can't a person get a first sting with more dignity? Like with a hundred chasing after you and you barely make it into the river in the nick of time, sustaining like 10 or 20 stings? Yeah, know I should be thankful, but where's the sense of adventure? Kk, but in retrospect, I don't think I want a 100 bees after me right now either, haha. I'd rather have no bees, yes, no bees.

Been spending time lately with a nice person. Me very thankful for the person's presence, at least it calm's my soul and serves as an anchor against otherwise turbulent emotions. I hope that person remains an anchor, and does not become the storm that drives my emotions haywire. At least, not now, not yet, and not in a negative manner. I wouldn't mind a little positive excitement of a roller coaster ride though, as long as I do not step down feeling sick, only exhilarated. But hey, if you're reading this, no storm, no roller coaster, I just want a nice lasting anchor ok? Haha. Just want you to be with me...

'Life's full of ups and downs... I just wanna stay up, don't wanna come down... But then I'm scared of heights, so how? ;þ '


:: Sam 7:45 PM [+] ::
...

Today, my angel gave me a chain. I dunno whether to laugh because she gave me what I asked for, or to cry because she really don't care much about it. I dunno whether to laugh because she bothered to get it for me, or to cry because she got it out of duty and obligation. I dunno whether to laugh because she at least did it out of duty and obligation, or to cry because she did not do it out of friendship and love. So I did nothing.

She gave me a dog tag. A single dog tag, with my initials K.W. Every soldier is issued a pair of dog tags, one for the identification of a dead body, and the other as a proof of death. Does that mean I'm now a dead body? In a sense, I guess.

I deleted her number off my handphone, but I couldn't delete her out of my mind. If only it was that easy, to just press the 'erase' button, and all would be done.

Maybe I should have taken the gift from her. One that would be given out of friendship and love, albeit reluctantly. But it was reluctant, and I did not want to push. Whoever heard of a person claming a gift? It should be given willingly. So I did not take it.

Sigh.


:: Sam 7:14 AM [+] ::
...

What's your sexual appeal?
brought to you by Quizilla


Once again, hmm... Haha...


:: Sam 5:55 PM [+] ::
...

What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Hmm... Is that why I talk a lot of crap?


:: Sam 5:49 PM [+] ::
...

What Planet Are You From?


this quiz was made by The Autist Formerly Known As Tim


I'm getting bored. Starting to do quizzes again. Bleargh.


:: Sam 4:54 AM [+] ::
...

Hmm... 3rd time I'm posting today. That's alot. What the hell, I've got the mood.

I'm starting to think that maybe I really am abit mental after all... Anyone out there thinks I'm a bit loony? As in demented, crazy, mad, unstable? And not wacky. Ooh, and do I scare you? Like do I make you feel uncomfortable and squirmy? Do I make you turn your head away the moment you see me? Do you get that tingling feeling, a warning, a sense of danger when you're near me?

For those of you who don't, GOOD!! I love you guys!!
For those of you who do, get a life, get a Kit Kat!! Whoops, maybe not that, but stop it! You making me feel weird! I'm perfectly normal, I think. Am I? Yesh I am, YESH I AM!!

So there. I made my point.


:: Sam 5:48 AM [+] ::
...

On a brighter note, I *GASPS* discovered that there are other AJ pple who blog!! Though they all started around October I think... Still, feels good to have more pple I know!! Yeah, link 'em already, so must must must visit. Finally... Local company, haha... Ehz, pple pls sign my sad sad sad guestbook? Oh, and in case, just in case(you dunno), there is a comments system in this page, the 'color me' link. I feel so silly saying all these...

Another thing to look forward to is I've managed to get a sort of comments system up for the poems site. Instead of figuring out the enetations script, I used the tagboard those AJ pple are using, haha... So now pple can comment!! Yeah... Half of me wants to ask for very very critical ones, the other half is praying for mercy... How how how? Haha... Niwaez, won't be using the tagboard for this page, I'm prefer the comments system, and no space at the side anyway. So once again I promote my guestbook and the comments system!! I really feel very very 'sad' saying these now...

Oh, me played street soccer for the 1st time today... Didn't really get to play much, but I enjoyed what little chance I got. Quite cool le, especially when the opposing teams are all people we dunno, and on a 2-goal rotation basis. Think we played 4 or 5 different teams. The Ang Mo Kio people were pretty good.

The end.


:: Sam 10:36 PM [+] ::
...

Man, sometimes I just loathe that person. I dun understand how one can be so concerned about another, and yet be treated so indifferently. Perhaps I'm wrong. Perhaps people just like to hide how they feel inside. Perhaps I'm the King of the World. Perhaps. Somehow I just don't believe in it anymore. I'd call it unrequited love, at least that's what it sounds like to me, and makes things easier to understand. But no, it's insisted that it's friendship. Hah? Friendship? Wow. Since when did friendship became lopsided? Fine, I'll play the fool and believe, coz there's no point denying that I wanna believe. Time. I'll give time. It's all I have anyway, and I have lots. Sigh.

'Ooh, can't stop the hurt inside, when love and hate collide.'


:: Sam 10:20 PM [+] ::
...

I just had the best dinner in years man!! Kk, maybe that's an exaggeration, but this I can accurately say: I just had the best boarding dinner in 5 years man!!!

I had a so-called 7 course meal, fish (2 actually), mashed potato, vegetables (yeah, actually worth eating!!), fried rice, corn, bobochacha and jelly!! Feel so bloated right now man... I finished almost everything except the vege... Sadly, I couldn't stuff any more or I'd puke, so the one that had to go was obviously the least favourite... But even then, I nearly finished it kay!!

Ok ok, this post probably sounds stupid, but I have something to declare. Boarding food ROCKS man!! Only once in 5 years though...


:: Sam 3:15 AM [+] ::
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My poetry is now up again... Shifted it from that stupid scribble.nu which suddenly died while I was not watching... Yeah, feel free to visit and comment...


:: Sam 5:55 AM [+] ::
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Sailing ROCKS!!


:: Sam 4:09 AM [+] ::
...